Geez-us!
Society sucks. The workforce blows. People who don't hire you because you had lint on your interview outfit that you painstakingly picked out deserves to burn in hell. Applications is a form of signing your soul to the devil. The human resource office is purgatory.
This is the world I live in. Kill me now.
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Haven't you seen I, Robot?
One day, we are going to create a robot that will kill us all. Every year we get one step
closer .
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Jenny Craig ain't got nothing on me.
Yea, I said it. So you want to lose weight in a short amount of time? I have the perfect solution. STRESS! Yes, my overweight Americans, you too can go from healthy to emaciated in less than two weeks. Why, in the last 11 days I managed to lose not 5, not 10, but 20 lbs! Does the possibility of going to the hospitol scare you? Well then this program is not for you, but if you like to live dangerously on the edge of life and death then go quit your job and remain unemployed for at least 4 weeks, then you will start seeing results fast! Weight Watchers? Ha! Don't make me laugh.
Okay, so maybe that wasn't very funny. I eat like a pig so losing 20 lbs is not only shocking but very unnessecary since I started at 110 lbs. Not only does my mother think I'm depressed, she is now going to think I'm anorexic. Fucking fantastic.
Yes, that picture is Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas. She went through the fat stage just like everyone else.
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I had to make my bi-yearly DMV trip to get another liscense today. I lose it every 6 months it seems. What a place. Everytime I go, it's an adventure and I wasn't dissapointed. My cousin and I was stared at for the better part of an hour by a short balding man who would crack a smile when we looked at him then giggle to himself when he thought we weren't looking, we saw a woman with the body of a man and the face of a beautiful woman, and we watched a woman let her baby eat cookies off the floor and beat a poor woman on the legs with his bottle which I think he was a bit too old for. What happens to a baby when you let them continue to wear diapers and drink from bottles at the age of 4? It's always a pleasure to visit our Department of Motor Vehicles. I'm looking forward to it next year.
Before I go, I just want to tell you about the kind of people I attract. Fellas, this message is for you. If you see a woman that you want to talk to walking down the street, please refrain from first whistling at them, saying "What yo name is?", call yourself "Rudeboy" (yes, he said his name was Rudeboy) and then proceeding to FONDLE YOURSELF IN FRONT OF HER. 9 times out of 10 that approach will probably not work. In fact, it will probably achieve the opposite, as well as creating the possibility of jail time for you. Just giving you a heads up.
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And you thought you knew me.
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Just when you thought it couldn't get worst...
Reality television has went from being a guilty pleasure to tivo'd by the masses to obnoxiously annoying to when-will-it-stop? to alarmingly frightening to
this.
It's never going to stop. The best thing to do is turn off your television. Now.
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What's up punkass???
It's a cat.
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Quote of the Week
And here is an excerpt from
The Evil Irish.
"Still in Hickman county. Only one thing of note here. We're standing in line at the dollar store getting a couple of notebooks. I have my arm around Deej's waist and had just kissed her on the neck when an old woman behind us says, "it's so nice to see two young people in love...or are you two brother and sister?"
Only in Tennessee."
Come on. That's hilarious and also one of the main reasons why I don't live in Tennessee.
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The funniest thing I heard all week was my mother singing that Gwen Stefani song at the top of her lungs in the kitchen. Usually she's my hero.
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God, people are fucking idiots sometimes. We all have dumb moments. I'm not the brightest bulb myself sometimes, but FUCK!!!
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I have been trying to do photo essays for my site similiar to
Tony Pierce's. It's a slow process since I don't have a clue as to how to do it. On my resume I said I was exceptional with computers. To get ahead in America, you have to lie. Or bend the truth slightly. No, I was right before. You have to lie through your teeth.
Back to the photo essays. If anyone can point me in the right direction as to where to start, let me know. I'd appreciate it. I'll even give you a
blogger of the week post. You'll love it.
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Yes, America. Of all the weighty decisions you will be making this year besides questioning whether or not the government will kill us all, you must decide whether or not Mrs. whatever-the-hell-his-name-is will make a good mother. Think about it carefully as this decision will change your life. Forever.
This has been another ad for the "Fuck Brittany and everything she is about." Foundation
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I had my third interview with the museum I'm trying to work at yesterday. Yes, third. I swear, I never had to work so hard for a job. Usually, I am hired on the spot, but not here. Here I have to be screened several times by different people with cameras hidden in light fixtures before they even start to consider whether or not I am capable of doing a telemarketing job. If I wasn't so desperate I'd say Fuck It. But I AM desperate for work.
Now, I'm not so sure I'll even get the job after my third interview. First, I was caught by traffic EVERYWHERE because Georgians freak out when a drop of rain hits their windsheild. Thanks to Hurricane Dennis I get there 20 minutes late. Then I wait ten minutes for her to call me into her office. My interviewer is about 4'10" but has the air of an ex-military soldier. She looks me up and down before looking down her nose at me and telling me to follow her, which is quite a feat since I'm about 8 inches taller than her. After that it was like we played speed 21 quesions. She would quickly ask me a question then look at me expectantly and I'll answer as quickly as I could. I thought I was doing ok keeping up with her. The interview lasted no more than five minutes. After she asked if I have an questions, she got up prompting me to do the same, shook my hand, and ushered me out. She had another interview at 10.
I don't think I'll be getting a call back. This is ridiculous. Just fucking hire me. Of course I'll do a good job. I need to remain employed so I can recieve checks consistantly.
But enough of me ranting, I have to get back on the job search.
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I think this
site is wonderful.
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Hello, kiddies.
It's been a while. No, I'm not dead but...well, I'm not going to say it would have been better if I was. That's morbid. I just had a lackluster week of unsuccesful job hunting and moving. It looks like I'm going to have to break down and apply at Tijuana Garage, a Mexican cantina that has a bigger turn over rate than fucking fast food resteraunts. They are ALWAYS hiring, so that was going to be my last resort. I mean, really. If they can't keep people there, something is wrong and it dosen't help that I'm not a big fan of Mexican food. But the bills are right around the corner. I'm starting to not care where I work, just pay me.
I would love to give you details about my "asstastic" (as I heard someone call it) week, but I'm pretty sure you don't care. I think the most excitment I had was losing control of my car yesterday and hydroplaning all over 75/85 North. That's all the excitment I need for a while.
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