Jenny Craig ain't got nothing on me.
Yea, I said it. So you want to lose weight in a short amount of time? I have the perfect solution. STRESS! Yes, my overweight Americans, you too can go from healthy to emaciated in less than two weeks. Why, in the last 11 days I managed to lose not 5, not 10, but 20 lbs! Does the possibility of going to the hospitol scare you? Well then this program is not for you, but if you like to live dangerously on the edge of life and death then go quit your job and remain unemployed for at least 4 weeks, then you will start seeing results fast! Weight Watchers? Ha! Don't make me laugh.
Okay, so maybe that wasn't very funny. I eat like a pig so losing 20 lbs is not only shocking but very unnessecary since I started at 110 lbs. Not only does my mother think I'm depressed, she is now going to think I'm anorexic. Fucking fantastic.
Yes, that picture is Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas. She went through the fat stage just like everyone else.
posted by Jas @ 3:45 PM
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