Hurts so good...Diary of a not so mad Black woman.

DAMN that man can dance!

Let the Godfather teach you a thing or two.

Damn they don't dance like that anymore. And those creases can cut ya!

Oh, I miss you, James.

posted by Jas @ 9:37 AM

Ok, I am now out of the gloom and feeling a little better. The clouds have parted, the rain has lifted, the sun is shining, everything is better. On to new things.

Today is the 2 year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Amazing. I had planned on adding my 2 cents on my thoughts on the "progress" that has been made over there, but Oliver Wang did much better than I could ever dream of doing right here . Political posts have never really been a strength of mine so I must leave it at that. Please forgive me.

It's been a weird week and it's only Wednesday. Can't survive a month like this again. But that is neither here nor there. I shall leave you with this, kiddies.



There is a certain artistic genius behind this song, I must admit. Maybe it's my southern blood talking, but they KILLED IT! Keep an eye out for the dancing choir, especially ol' boy with the mike.

posted by Jas @ 10:26 PM

Just a thought.

Human emotion is a terrible thing. How the smallest things can rip through you like a thousand knives...it's horrible. I'm not a fan of change even though I change at an alarming rate. It's like starting from the ground up over and over. Figuring out who you are every few months. Piecing together your identity so often it's no wonder you rarely know who you are. It's a painful journey. But I am no stranger to pain. Pain has been a companion of mine for a long time, so this is no strange place for me. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

posted by Jas @ 6:21 PM

I've read somewhere it was a cliche to post poetry on your blogs. I say, "Fuck that." No really, I said just that. The day one person can dictate how everyone should do something as insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) as blogging is the day I say "Well, maybe Hitler had a point." Not happening. I've been writing poetry again. I only do it when I am in deep turmoil and I am in the throes of it right now. It's OK. I never really mind suffering because I know it doesn't last forever. Suffering makes you see things you would never see if you were happy and carefree. I see things not more clearly (because pain can cloud your inner and outer vision) but more observantly. It has its good points and bad points...I'm just ready for this to be over. I have so much to worry about besides my crushed ego and a broken heart. Maybe I will post some poems...nah, probably not.

On to better things, I have heard the best, most unique album I have ever heard. A mix between hip hop, Edgar Allen Poe and something else I haven't discovered yet. The Nobody Hole is amazing and I can't wait until the world hears it. They will be blown away. SumKid Majere is a genius and I can't stop singing his praises. One day everyone else will see what I see and I will merely raise my eyebrows in a bemused sort of way with a look that says "About time."

posted by Jas @ 9:36 AM

When the world ends...

The world is ending...not in 2012 but right now. The world is ending for me right now. I'm not going to mope around and cry and moan and bitch and shake my fists at the sky and kick puppies and write practice suicide notes or anything like that. I did that yesterday. Today is a new day as they say and I feel exactly as I felt yesterday except instead of getting all the emotion out, I am letting it build up until sooner or later I will explode and someone will die. There really is no alternative. When the world ends all you can do is sit and wait and hope when it's over you will be a stronger person. So, here is to getting stronger. Hopefully this future strength I am looking forward to will lead me to being a better person rather than a bitch.

Cheers.

posted by Jas @ 6:02 PM

J5 + MosDef = Oh, s#@!

I was listening to records tonight. I haven't sat down and just listened to records in a very long time. I wasn't able to sit back and relax like I would have liked because I was flipping through songs looking for a song to sample. I've been dabbling in producing lately. I must have gone through dozens of albums, nothing really leaping out at me at all. I was starting to lose hope of finding anything when I happened across a Jackson 5 album. At first I thought that was too obvious, nearly everyone sampled the Jackson 5, but I wanted a slow and sad love song and most of the songs looked like love songs judging by their titles. The first three songs I hear are uptempo dance. I look at the date on the cover. 1974. Disco isn't dead yet. I was about to put it back in the sleeve and move on but I dropped the needle on a random spot and pressed play. The beginning of my favorite Mos Def song burst through my headphones. My heart felt like it stopped. I had to stop the record player because my heart felt like it was about to burst. The shock of hearing that sample then the song it came from made me cry. It was so beautiful. Michael had a beautiful voice. So young he was and to sing so mournfully sometimes was astounding and heartbreaking.

The song, If I don't Love You This Way by The Jackson 5 is beautiful and the way it coincides with Mos Def's U R the One made me love his song even more. He picked the perfect song to sample. Michael's voice. I burst into tears the second he hit that last note at the end. I felt the pain, the agony of lost love as poignantly as though it had actually happened to me. And the thrill of finding a sample to one of my favorite songs.It was almost too much. Like a needle pierced my heart and filled me with emotions I have no name for. I love it when that happens. It's so rare and amazing. Music is my religion. It hasn't made me speak in tongues yet. Thats good.

posted by Jas @ 11:06 PM