Hurts so good...Diary of a not so mad Black woman.

Just let it go...

Letting go is one of the hardest things I ever have to do. I say it in the present tense because I am doing it now and I know I will have to do it again. I cling on to that which is comfortable not wanting to let go in fear of the unknown. Most times the unknown rips you away from everything you know and tosses you in a pit of darkness leaving you to grope around not knowing what to do or where to go. That was where I was for a month or so. I'm still kind of floating around, not really touching anything or anyone. Nothing seemed real to me, but of course, that feeling couldn't last forever. I'm slowly making my way back to reality and it's about time. Time waits for no one and I fell way behind on nearly everything.

However, there is still the matter of letting go of the past. When you say goodbye to a loved one, I find it helps to remember all the good times you shared with them and hold those memories close to your heart so that when you remember you will never be able to have those good times with them again you just conjure up those good memories to kind of dull the pain. Well, I didn't lose anyone to Death but I suffered quite a few losses just the same this past month. So here is my goodbye to them.

This is what I did in the house on Hillcrest.
Poker, Gears of War, Beat Battles, Random Shuffles, ESPN, Best Damn Sports Show Period, World Series of Poker, Ganja Smoking, Record Playing, Bug Killings, Tekken Tournaments, Chicken Rice and Broccoli, Dutch Masters Vaniila Cigarillos, Music Making, West Forrest Hustling, Arizona Teas, Oz Pizza, Slice Pizza, Madden '06 and '07, Final Fantasy, Dog Barking, Random Singing, Flav's Roast, Chevron Trips, East Point's Top Model, Man vs. Wild, Adult Swim, Futurama, Family Guy, Scrubs, Samurai Champloo, Gorillaz on repeat, "Was he really bumping Gwen Stefani?", Trump, Hot ass Summers, Cold ass Winters, The Studio, "Dipsy Doodle on that Ass!", Creeping Mold, Random Dry Erase Board Messages, "Welcome to our Humble Abode, bitches", bail bondings, break ins, The Perfect Girl Chip Shuffle Analogy, Chip Tricks, Cape Cod Potato Chips, Chair Stealing, Nike Collections, Records in 7 out of 9 Rooms, Constant Visitors, VJC visit, Short Lived T-Shirt Printing, Wireless Internet, Two House Parties, Negro Modello, DeeLow's Patron, JaFar's gallon of Vodka, Sun Drop, Cheerwine, We Played Spades Once, "Deauces!", Bottles of Aspirin, MySpace, The Futon Everyone's Slept on, "They only took the rent money?!", MPC's, XBox 360, PlayStation, Hair Twisting, Cranberry Juice, Peach Plum Pear Juice, "Did you eat your dinner?", 10 7 off suit, J 5 Suited, Push ups, The Beat Up Poker Table, DT's Beats, Mitchell's Comments, DeeLow's Presence, Will's Outbursts, Shawtie's Barking...wow, thats just skimming the surface...2 years of memories. And I cherish every one of them.

I miss you guys so much.

posted by Jas @ 10:39 PM