I love my job. Ok, not really.
I think I'm going to do a little restaraunt rant such as we see on Waiter Rant.Yesterday at work was crazy enough because they were having two festivals on the block the restaraunt is on. I knew this already and thought I prepared myself for the idiots, assholes, fuckfaces, dumbasses, bitches, and whoever else decided they wanted to bug me before I get off. I didn't.
First comes a group of people who says the owner said they could buy 12 larger pies to sell outside. We did know about this, but thought they only wanted 8. We got the owner on the phone and had her speak to him herself because she was getting pissed off about us not knowing about the other four. She gets the phone and we overhear her asking him for 4 more pies. So in that, we caught her trying to hustle us. Then this woman goes and takes the pies and sets up a table, which we knew she was going to do, but she sets it up right beside the door that leads from the inside of the restarant to the festival. So anyone who wants pizza that heads to us will see her selling first and of course get their slices from her. At that point, me and my co-workers were so tired, we didn't care.
Then later on, a group of six people, who comes pretty often walks up to counter and stares in rapt fascination at the menu like its the Holy Grail. I sit at the counter as patiently as I can, while twirling my pen very impatiently. This is how it happened.
Idiot #1: So what do y'all want?
Idiot #2: I don't know...what do you want?
Idiot #3:I don't know...
Idiot #1:...
Me (thinking): You fuckers have been here a million fucking times.
Idiot #2: I think I want pizza.
Me (thinking): YOU'RE AT A PIZZA PLACE! WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO GET?!
Idiot #2:Y'all want pizza?
Idiot #3:I don't know. Do you want that?
Idiot #1: I don't know...
Me (thinking): Oh my God.
Idiot #1: Ok...lets get a large pie.
idiot #2: You sure you want a large?
Idiot #1:I don't know. Do you want something else?
Idiot #2: A medium?
Idiot #1: Is that what you want?
Me (thinking): Thats what she fucking said she wanted, fuckface.
Idiot #3: Lets just get a large.
Idiot #2: Ok.
They finally ordered. Then they needed beer.
idiot #2: What do y'all want to drink?
Idiot #1: What do you want?
Idiot #2: I don't know. what do you feel like drinking?
Idiot #3: hmmm......lets have beer? Is that ok? A pitcher?
Idiot #1: Whats good? What kind of beer you like?
idiot #2: I don't know. What do they have?
Me: Miller lite, High Life, Sweetwater 420, Bass, and Red Brick on tap.
Idiot #1: You don't have Bud?
Me (thinking): Did I say we had Bud on tap?
Me: No. We have that in a bottle.
Idiot #2: So what do y'all want?
Idiot #3: I don't know...
Me (thinking): You fucking idiots.
Me: Do y'all like dark or light beer? (By this point, there was a line behind them and they all looked PISSED off.
Idiot #1: Hmmm....I guess Red Brick...? Is that ok?
Idiot #2: I guess...you ok with it?
Idiot #3: Yea sure.
I pour their beer as quickly as I could so they could get the hell on. They go to leave to sit down and the first thing the next group says is "I thought they were never going to order. What a bunch of idiots." I smile. Exactly.
One good thing came from the festivities, I saw Darth Vader.
posted by Jas @ 11:28 AM
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