Hurts so good...Diary of a not so mad Black woman.

2011-10-12T07:31:00.002-04:00

So...its been a few months...Here is the rundown. My life is falling apart, and by falling apart I mean everything sucks, and by everything sucks I mean I am falling into a pit of despair, and by that I mean, everything is fine I am just dealing with it. lol...but really. WTF does a girl have to do to be happy and well adjusted in this damn world?

Working on it. I'll get back to you later.

It's a New Day!

2011-06-30T10:36:00.002-04:00

I got fired from my second job yesterday and I couldn't be happier. I cannot stop smiling, giggling and relishing in all this extra time that I have. It is most excellent. Now, I must truly get my art shit poppin', as my man would say. But its so hard to force creativity....

Anyway, I thought it prudent that I share the good news. Have a drink on me. You have to pay for it though...funds are low.

1 hour later....

2011-06-23T13:01:00.006-04:00

I can't stop watching these animal vids.

Japanese Kitty

Will someone put these two in bed?

That cat was trying to get some poor pup caught up.

The dog never gives up.

It was a long journey...

Brilliant!!

White Conservatives Don't Like Black People

2011-05-11T11:26:00.009-04:00

Thats right, I said it.

White conservatives (namely Sean Hannity, Karl Rove, Neil Monroe and many others) are still classifying all hip hop as negative and violent. How ignorant to our culture they are. With this blow up over the White House inviting Common for a poetry reading, they are effectually and irrevocably distancing themselves from us and who we are. Not that Common is our beacon of truth and ray of light or anything like that. But if you are a hip hop lover and know that there is a diffence between that and rap, then you know that it is absolutely ridiculous to call Common a "thug" and refer to his work as anything but a realistic yet positive eye into the not so negative aspects of black culture. And they slam it as though its that other bullshit that I cannot stand. That music that paints us as the ignorant individuals they want us to be.
Read these articles and see how they slam him for a poem he read 4 years ago. They don't even try to pull out ANY of his other work for comparison. Why is that? Look him up and see for yourself. Lets just say it would not back up their remarks.

Here is an excerpt from The Daily Caller by Neil Munro:

"Here’s a sample of Common’s work, transcribed from a 2007 video with 837,613 viewers on YouTube. Students, please compare and contrast the two poems. You’ll get extra credit for counting the death threats. There is no extra credit for identifying spelling errors. By the way, ‘Uzi’ is slang for a compact machine
gun"

Actually, Mr. Monroe, the term Uzi IS not slang but the actual name of a sub machine gun named after the designer, Uziel Gal. Idiot.

And here is my contribution to those who don't know what Common is about.

And lyrics for those who can't keep up with those rappers.

Searchin for a love, throughout the ghetto
Young girls is thick, righteousness is narrow
I got my third, eye on the sparrow
Want my peoples straight and rock sweet apparrel
The mother of my child, we not together
Baby it's your back, I got forever
As the weather, talks to us
Him rockin the Holy Spirit walks through us
The blunted eyes of the youth search for a guide
A thug is a lost man in disguise
The rise and fall, of a nation, even when the buildings tumble
I still stand tall, I walk through the valley, wit a life preserver
Feelin at times, that I might just murder
Yo but that aint what I was sent for
I want folks to say his life it meant more
Than any car, any rock, or any broad
He found Geto Heaven in himself and God

Love, your happiness don't begin wit a man
Strong woman, why should you depend on a man
I understand you want a man that's resourceful
If he pay your bills, he feel like he bought you
Talkin to a friend, about what love is
Her man didn't love her, cuz he didn't love his
Hugged her from afar, said what I felt
You never find a man, till you find yourself
Time helps mistakes, you can learn from
Cuz one man fucked up men you shouldn't turn from
You want a certain type of guy, gotta reach a certain point too
At the destination, a king will annoint you
Goin through the storm, many bodies stay warm
That relationship died, for you to be born, you worth more
Than anything you could cop in a store
For you to grow he had to go so what you stoppin him for
Not even I could ignore bein alone it's hard
Find heaven in yourself and God

This music is so much bigger than me
As far as happy, yo it's like a trigger to me
Dealin with crab rappers, and groupie broads
Record execs, at times it do be hard
But to choose words, and be heard across waters
Doin something you like to support daughters
Keepin your guys who collectin court orders
Conveyin messages that the ancestors brought us
Thought of things to say to become the end thing for the day
Somehow, that didn't seem the way for me to make it
Music is a gift that is sacred
I hope you didn't use it hopin you could grow to it
Whether servin or a surgeon, you gon go through it
Can't imagine goin through it, without soul music
It's like Donnie ?half? helped me see Lonnie's ?fath?
On my behalf, let's take whole steps to a ?ho tep?
And show depth, as we make people nod
Find heaven in this music and God
Find heaven in this music and God
Find heaven in this music and God

GET OVER YOURSELVES WHITE CONSERVATIVES WHO FEEL THE WAY HANNITY AND ROVE FEEL. WE ARE BIGGER THAN THUGS AND VIOLENCE. WE ARE MORE THAN STREETS AND IGNORANCE. CHOOSE TO IGNORE THAT IS CHOOSING TO IGNORE US.

Duuude...

2011-04-19T13:00:00.001-04:00

This is just wrong.

I feel like sharing...

2011-04-19T12:09:00.000-04:00

because my heart is open today. Here is why.
Latest tracks by BeatsJasLikes

Yes, I'm conversating!

2011-04-19T11:39:00.006-04:00

Apparently us black people have finally made "conversate" a real word recognized by standard dictionaries by ignorantly using it repeatedly since learning to speak the kings language. Progress? Ha, not really. (It is only considered slang after all) But now you don't have to feel embarrassed when using that word in public. You may now pull out your phone and go here and show them proof that it is indeed a word. You're welcome.

Because life isn't funny enough...

2010-10-11T00:09:00.008-04:00

Don't sleep...

2010-06-28T12:32:00.006-04:00

...there's a whole world out there full of characters.

That drummer is being wasted.

Who taught him those moves is the question.

Daaa-yum Lindsey is looking effed up! I know its not a video but that shit needed to be seen. That girl better do something quick. Good God.

Nowhere to go but up

2010-06-21T16:52:00.002-04:00

Ah, Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown. Its a twisted world out there and I am learning more about it everyday. I'm also learning more about myself and I figured out something I had no idea about. I am an asshole. A well meaning asshole, but an asshole nonetheless. i'm coming to terms with it and to be honest, you kind of have to be an asshole to get anywhere these days. Sad but true. Another little jewel of knowledge this wonderful world has taught me.

I mean that in the best way possible, of course.

Freaknik revisited

2010-03-28T13:17:00.006-04:00

Check out that mustache. Classic.
If you know anything of the history of Atlanta, GA you might recall a little annual shindig put together for the black folks called Freaknik. It was the A's answer for a Spring Break event designed to keep the historical black college students from traveling hundreds of miles to celebrate (ie spend money) elsewhere. Well, I guess they had good intentions, but when you get hundreds of black people in one place, more often than not, some shit is going to go down. And it did. It took a few years but by that last year (1999)the kids were too rowdy, the girls too stupid to realize if they strip on top of a car something may happen, and the traffic...horrendous. Whose idea was it to park on the side of the freeway, crank up their radio and dance?

Or course, this is the observations of a 12 year old who wasn't allowed to participate in the festivities. All the info I got on it came from my sister, who was 23, the music, the news and what I saw if I happened to be near what was going on in the vicinity of my parents every time. There were concerts and festivals and plenty of events not geared towards tits and ass. But that was all I saw and heard about it. Go fig. By the that last year I was 16-17 and the event was too infamous (in a bad way) for me to even consider going.

Well anyway, that was 11 years ago and now in 2010, they tried to bring it back for some unknown reason. Of course the new Freaknik was not as glorious as its legendary run in the 90's. Not by a long shot and the cops and the kids today are probably the reason. However, one good thing did come out it. Freaknik the Musical.

Behold, my lovelies, and witness the best animated reproduction of a real event ever created. And I must say, though I did put him down a couple years ago and I stand by it, T-Pain did his thing. I can give credit where credits due sometimes.

More TFLN* Highlights

2009-10-18T23:13:00.003-04:00

*Texts From Last Nite

(469): I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

(416): So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

(256): The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.

(337): you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm

(856): It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.

Don't Do It...

2009-08-26T20:57:00.005-04:00

...unless you want a divorce and public scorn.

Reality Show + Married Couple = Divorce

Bobby and Whitney - Yea, we thought it might last. If your man would reach in your rectum with his bare hands to help with backed up pipes, it must be love...or so we thought. It was down hill ever since she uttered the words "king of R & B" in the same sentence as his name.

Travis and Shanna - Once again, we thought it was love, but then it all got shot to hell and really out of the blue. They just started snipping at each other on MySpace. Thats how you are suppose to go about a divorce these days, you know.

Nick and Jessica - Actually, I wasn't surprised by this at all.

Dave and Carmen - Not really surprised by this one either.

Jon and Kate - Now this is just fucked up. They have 8 kids!! EIGHT!!! It was the stress, man. I just hope they haven't fucked those poor babies up. Just look at them.

Kevin and Britney - Pretty self explanatory, I think.

Linda and Hulk Hogan - Why, Hulk? Why? Twenty-six years of marriage gone! And then 48 year old Linda dates a 19 year old. And he was a year younger than her daughter. Ew.

I forgot about this one

2009-07-01T22:22:00.005-04:00

Combing through my old entries (there are so many!) and ran across this. My only competition for the domain name www.hurtsogood.com...

I wonder what the woman in the white dress is doing these days...

I also took the time to look at the root website. Creeepy...

Then I did some furthur research and came across this treasure chest of goodies...

Still stallin'...

2009-06-20T19:38:00.002-04:00

I'm just lazy. Its been a week and instead of writing about my journey into Italy, I've been curled up with my (now) boyfriend. It had been five weeks since I saw him last so I figured I have that fact on my side. So while I worked up the energy to share five weeks of stories with you, here is a song that made me fall in love with him again.

Oooh, thats some sweet sweet tenderness right there!

2009-06-09T16:55:00.001-04:00

So, I've been in Italy for the last five weeks and this is the first post that I have managed to come up with since being out here. If I find the time and the inclination I will share my experiences. There is definitely a lot to share. Until then, here is a little something from the men I love.

Radiohead

Watch your back...its coming to get ya.

2009-04-29T19:35:00.005-04:00

Good thing I decided to stay away from pork years ago but I'm still a little in the dark as to where the hell this new reason to wear masks came from. Did it really come from pigs or are they just calling it that to make it sound more threatening...and disgusting. I'm just waiting for them to pull back out the designer face masks that had for a while when SARS was scaring the hell out of everyone.

Forgot about those? Let me refresh your memory.

...and my personal favorite..

Apparently all you need is a bottle of Barcardi 151. Clears that shit right up.

Website of the week...

2009-04-27T18:34:00.002-04:00

>www.textsfromlastnight.com

Here is a taste.

(202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

(914): saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend

(212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

(901): I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
(813): sounds like you understand them just fine

(918): Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.

(310): Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

Why am I against Twitter?

2009-04-03T11:54:00.003-04:00

Is it because Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P Diddy aka Diddy is calling himself P Twitter these days? Nah, I can't be that much of a hater...well, I can, but I don't think that is the case. Is it because I am slowly weaning myself away from these community websites like MySpace and Facebook? Should I just give it up and join?

Nah, I'm going to hold out for a little bit longer. I don't need anything else taking up my time. But the whole point of Twitter is it being a quick way to keep up with friends, right?

I have seriously been having this internal debate about Twitter every time I hear about it. Now that I have discussed it with whoever reads this blog (both of you), it just sounds stupid.

Well, I'll work that out on my own time. Now that I have your attention, let me introduce you to a little thing I like to call Doing the Damn Thang. Here are some projects some of my talented friends have put out there for your visual and listening pleasure.

Change Yo Style!!!!

The Milky Way - Meet the Band from Sum Patten on Vimeo.
The Milky Way!!!!

The Lone Wolf (Promotional Video) from Sum Patten on Vimeo.
The Lone Wolf!!!!

Oh, so you say you're not a big hip hop fan? Ok, I got something for that. Try this for size.
Nowhere/ Now Here by DT!!!!

Enjoy, my lovelies.

Enough is enough?

2009-03-04T16:50:00.002-05:00

Leggings as Pants. The Epidemic.

You know, I didn't realize this was becoming such a problem until I googled "leggings as pants" and got hundreds of entries. I find it kind of funny and the faux-jeans leggings are hilarious. I've seen a lot worst on the streets, my friends. Let those girls show off their ass(ets). Hell, if I had a nice ass and some Chun-Li thighs, I might be wearing leggings as pants too.Although, we could live without the camel toes. Oh, and don't forget to check out the manifesto.

Whats really funny is people are really upset about this, except for straight men, of course. They are all for it.

But this. This is just wrong.

The Angry Post

2009-02-23T16:48:00.003-05:00

Being an urban music director I come into contact with a LOT of bad music. Today, I was emailed a link to a group that brought me close to tears. Here is a young rap group (I REFUSE to call them anything near Hip Hop) out of Atlanta (of course) whose top single is The Baddest Bitch in the World. I went to check out their site to see if it was as bad as it sounds. No. It was worst. They have a song called Sum Head and Fucked in a Car.

Now, here is my problem. They are a teen group marketing to the teens in Atl and their songs are about fucking. And its not like they are beating around the bush by indirectly referring to sex. Their song is called FUCKED IN A CAR.

I was speaking to a twenty year old the other day and she was telling me about when she was 18 a boy told her he would kill himself if she didn't give him sex. He was constantly begging her and she gave in to him. These kids don't have the guidance to know why that is not cool and why is that? The fucking media and dumb ass kids making songs about fucking and grown ass muthafuckas who lack any morals or a sense of responsibility marketing that type of music to the younger generation today.

It scares me and it hurts my heart. I don't think I can just sit back and wait for this trend to blow over anymore. How do we fight against it?

Anyway, the group is called Travis Porter and they aren't the cause of the problem, they are a product of the problem. How do we stop this?

Hair you are!

2009-02-23T16:40:00.006-05:00

Why can't ghetto be artsy?

I had to share this story from here. Hilarious.

STORY out of KANSAS CITY - where a 20 yr old young woman came through unharmed after having been allegedly shot in the head by her ex-boy friend.

Police said the 20-year-old woman was in a convenience store parking lot late Wednesday when a man flagged her down and told her that her ex-boyfriend still loved her.
She replied, “Well I don’t love him,” then heard gunshots.

Police arrived moments later to find a burn hole in her weave and a bullet tangled in the womans hair….The ex-boyfriend and accomplice were later arrested in a car nearby….When asked whether the hair was horse or human the female smiled, pulled out a brush and replied, “Dis ma her-r-r“ ;o)’
Personally, I don’t care if it can stop a bullet, it still itches the SHYT outta me when it touches my skin!!! But the next time i’m in the hood best believe you gonna see G00$E Money with a long weaved honey cause nuccaz don’t know how to act…Just ask Chris BREEZY!!! (nuff said)

Neither of those two lovely ladies up top is the one mentioned in the story. I just wanted you to see that despite the allegedly "ghetto-ness" of the style, they earn many points for being unique. Get it gurl!!!

Damn.

2009-02-16T16:38:00.002-05:00

That must have been the most important flight of her life.

Drama sucks.

2009-02-09T00:56:00.002-05:00

Y'know, I've always said if a man ever raised his hand at me, especially if we were dating, I would wait until he thought all was forgotten and then cut his achilles tendon in both legs when he was sleeping. I mean it. I would f**k a mutha****er up if they disrespect me like that.

So...do you really think Chris Brown hit Rihanna? Normally, I don't care about anything going on in Hollywood, real or rumored, but it always makes me so angry when I hear about a man hitting a woman. So, Rihanna, you just let me know if that is true or not. I will be more than happy to make it so Chris will never dance again.

I'll go sharpen my knives, just to be ready.

Some Hip Hop to Chill to.

2009-02-04T16:09:00.005-05:00

In my continuous search for new Hip Hop (that doesn't suck) to add to rotation here at the radio station I work at, I stumbled across this little jewel. Hardcore Hip Hop lovers aren't really diggin' it, but I think it's pretty nice. So here it is for your aural pleasure.

I hope it plays for you because this damn computer doesn't want to play anything for me. Haters everywhere I go...

Dela Changes of Atmosphere

Wow.

2009-01-28T22:17:00.001-05:00

Taken from Poplicks who took it from Angry Asian Man

When will it end?

2009-01-28T15:40:00.009-05:00

Thanks to this man...

...this man has a similiar reality show.

Instead of calling it For the Love for Ray J, they should call it For the Love of STD's because that dude is going to want to fuck (because for some reason women just drop trou as soon as he comes around) and those girls want to marry into celebrity (like royalty...get it?) or at the very least get a career in showbiz.
Like some people...

Maybe her 15 minutes are over...its been a while.

All I want to know is, what the hell am I doing wrong? How can I come up on top without having to give a gremlin a blowjob?

What? Come on. Everyone knows he looks like a gremlin. LOOK at him. I'm not hating. Just stating the obvious.

I Heart Gamers and Dungen

2009-01-16T10:58:00.006-05:00

Using game shots to expose you to my favorite band out of Sweden. Brilliant!

As well as my favorite song from them. I wish I could hear it. This damn computer has no sound.

Yea, you like that, don't cha?

Postscript...
I finally got to hear the audio to this vid. Someone told me that they suck live. I didn't believe them...now I do. That song sounds much better on the album. It's called Sluta Foija Efter on their album Ta Det Lundt. Check it out if you want to hear this song in all its glory.

Damn man. How could they butcher their own song?

Big Tits vs. Little Tits

2009-01-14T19:14:00.011-05:00

I randomly found this comparison online. Once upon a time I was self-concious about my little knockers...(lol)...then one day I said 'fuck it'. Who the fuck cares about what these dudes think? I've been happy with them ever since.

Women with Big Tits...

1. can get a taxi on the worst days
2. have men give them the best seats on a bus.
3. have a neat place to carry spare change
4. have always been the center of the arts (art)
5. make jogging a spectator sport
6. can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
7. have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
8. usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
9. can always carry a little extra cash
10. always float better
11. know where to look first for lost earrings
12. rarely lack for a slow dance partner
13. have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner
14. never have to buy a car with airbags
15. have a place to carry a extra beer

Women with Little Tits...

1. don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
2. always look younger
3. find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
4. can always see their toes and shoes
5. can sleep on their stomachs
6. have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
7. know that people can read the entire message on their T-shirts
8. know that everything more than a handful is wasted
9. can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
10. can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves out
11. never be accused of having implants.

So what if us little people have less positive points.

And for your visual pleasure...

My God. At least she looks happy with those monsters.

Aww, man...

2009-01-12T19:30:00.000-05:00

I was reading my past entries and I saw my entry on Jay Electronica. Man, he was that shit for a hot second...then he impregnated Erykah Badu and he disappeared. Maybe that was a good thing. Last year I went to a concert featuring Nas, Talib Kweli and Mr. Electronica himself. Not only did this dude not perform, he was walking around the spot with a six foot staff. I kid you not. Plus, he was all hugged up on this big booty white chick. (I hate to generalize her like that but I didn't catch her name). After that, I just couldn't look at him the same.

Obviously it was one of those times where you meet someone you admire and they are nothing like how you would imagine them to be. I was so excited about him too! Disappointment is never fun.

He can still redeem himself though. Whenever he puts out an official album...maybe it would be as good as some of the unofficial tracks that was leaked all over the place.

So Jay, if you're reading this, get out of Erykah's (fill in blank here) and make some music, damn it. And leave that fucking staff at the house.

Oh, hello.

2009-01-11T04:10:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year World!!!
It's been some time since I've last posted. The last year was my craziest year yet and I got lost in it. It was a crazy year, wasn't it? The world is heading somewhere cataclysmic. Can you feel it? Damn, its scary. But I'm ready for whatever, I think. Not. I've become so unstable it is almost funny. But it isn't. Of course, we are in a recession but does money really rule my life so completely. I think it does. I hate it. Being tied down by something as mundane as money. I got to laugh at that last statement. Mundane money. Shut up, Janie.

2008 was terribly wonderful for me. Delightfully awkward. I learned for sure and I also took about six steps backwards. I didn't really progress at all last year. I know why. I still can't figure out where I'm going and I was left wandering in circles. Can't let that happen this year. I have to do better. More. And I will...

But enough about that mess. I wish I could share everything that happened to me but I don't have the time or patience to do all that typing. One of the main reasons why I stopped blogging. Too much time plus I couldn't help but think why the hell would anyone care about anything I'm doing or thinking?

No matter. I felt like typing so here I am. 4:15 in the morning listening to this song on repeat. I think its time to pack it up. I hope this new year has been wonderful to you. Probably same old same old. A new year doesn't really change your life, does it? Well, I hope you had a good day. Here's some random pictures of my year for you.

Hello again

2008-05-30T04:40:00.003-04:00

Its 4:42 in the morning and I am at the station editing music. Buckshot and 9th Wonder to be exact. Life as a music director (assistant md, mind you) is so exciting!! In actuality I am tired as FUCK but I've been putting off my duties long enough. Why 5 in the morning, you ask? Because at the job that actually pays me enough money to live I don't get off until 2:30 am and I usually go home and go to sleep and not wake up until 2 in the afternoon.

Never enough time when you're sleeping it all away. But thats cool...for now.

So I figured I should share some photos of my adventures but I accidentally deleted about 85% of my pics when I tried to put them on my nifty external hard drive. I'm a genius sometimes. So I suppose that means a whole batch of strange yet boring photos are on the way. That being said I've decided to share other people's photos which is actually 10 times more exciting than anything I could have photographed myself.

Don't tell em I borrowed (ie stole) their photos. People are so stingy sometimes.

I love this guy.

Aww, isn't he cute?

Why?

I heard 'em say...

2008-03-31T03:00:00.003-04:00

Random lines and bits I've (over)heard this week.

"Nothing you do is free at 3:33 in the morning."
"They're not bad, they're just not good...at all."
"Love is weird."
"That thing will go down faster than a Thai hooker."
"A flowers greatest disappointment is not to be smelled."
"I don't know what he's talking about. I have plenty of ugly friends."
"Take yo muthafuckin shirt off."
"Coolio Iglesias"
"I want them to have your eyes, your nose, your smile and my last name."

"Hey, (name omitted) has a bullet proof vest. Think I should let him shoot me with his twenty two with it on?"

"Uh...sure, go head."

Yup.

Uh Oh....

2008-03-24T14:48:00.002-04:00

Portishead is coming out with a new album. I'm so (((((excited)))))!!!! I've already accepted that whatever they do, I'm pretty much going to love it.

2008-03-16T15:34:00.002-04:00

I still enjoy this site.

2008-03-16T02:54:00.002-04:00

Damn man. I haven't posted anything funny or interesting in months. Thank goodness Spring is here. I think was starting to go a little crazy. Which is understandable now that I think about it. Everybody goes a little crazy when they're stuck in the house all the damn time. I've been very productive I think. The only real pleasure I take is through my assistant music director position at the station. I am surrounded by music at all times, I pick music that thousands of people take the pleasure (I hope) in listening to it all at once. I love it there. I love sharing music. Love being exposed to new sounds. Discovering new artists. Wonderful.

That being said, I feel it is my duty to share this artist. Holy shit. I've been reading up on him and listening to his music and he is hot.

Watch out for Jay Electronica.

Here I Am

2008-03-10T02:34:00.002-04:00

I felt like writing. I'm in the weirdest place i've ever been as far as my mind set goes, but thats ok. It seems like I am forever saying goodbye in one way or another. I never really liked goodbyes...probably because I am so bad at it.

Thats not what I wanted to talk about though. I had my first nervous breakdown today. It was not fun. At all. But I lived to tell the tale. It was good to get all that stuff that was festering inside of me out, but in doing that I've opened up something else inside of me. Something I didn't really want to open...but thats ok too. I learn from everything so this is just another learning experience to me.

Random shit from my random mind. Don't mind me, I'm just here for the food.

2008-03-08T05:21:00.002-05:00

I had to steal this pic from here because it reminded me of this this exact same piece Cyla and I saw at the High Museum a few years ago. Cyla is always making up random dialog and this is what she came up with:

"Grandma!"
"What, sonny?"
"Your tit!"
"What?"
"Your tit is out!!"
"I can't hear you!"

And it continues...I was cracking up.

2008-03-08T04:14:00.003-05:00

I've been spending so much time by myself, trapped in my own thoughts, I've forgotten how to talk to people without sounding insane.

I'm playing...but I'm not.

Besides observing my rapidly decreasing skills in communication, I'm working myself to exhaustion. This Spring Break was much needed to get my mind right. I think I am at 75% right now. Much better than last week. Last week I was this close to jumping in my car and driving until I couldn't anymore. Just run away. That journey would have ended in the next county with the state of my car and the price of gas. Astronomical! Listen kids, I have three jobs and I still can't afford gas. I would laugh myself silly about that if it wasn't so serious.

lol...it is kind of funny though.

But back to the original subject. In my solitude, I've been listening to a lot of great music. Thats all I've been doing really. Last night I accidentally made the soundtrack to my life. I was listening to it while another wall in my life fell...I'm going through some things. Grown up stuff and it is an experience. But this is all happening for a reason, I think. I hope. I' seeing myself being pulled somewhere. It seems like it is out of my control and that is what scares me the most.

Damn, I keep getting off track. The music.

That goblin looking mofo in the red cap is my friend DT. 80% of the music I've been listening to has been his. Amazing stuff. I'll load up this album he did a few years ago when he gives me the ok. He was about 20 or so when he made it. That just blows my mind. Thats Dirty DeeLow next to him and me in the far back, by the way...

There is so much shit going on in my life right now...a mere blog wouldn't cover it...and I don't think the two of you who are reading this page (hi Jennifer!) would really care. So I leave you with this...

Trapped in the mountains with Cyla. Ooh scary.

3 Months in 3 Seconds

2008-03-04T15:05:00.010-05:00

My PSA's

Me all standoffish

Frozen Hudson River

Koonery

The Ghost, The Goblin, The Toad, and The Monkey

The 88 Office...my second home.
A Quiet Moment with Radiohead and my drawings

If you forgot...

2008-02-22T11:38:00.001-05:00

Soulja Boy Crank Dat Ballet Dance

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Well...thank goodness that craze is over. That little boy in the front was GETTING it though! lol

I dream of strange things.

2008-02-18T23:14:00.004-05:00

I had this dream last night. I'm getting into dream interpretation so I try to keep up with them now. I dreamt that it was nighttime and I was on the fire escape of my apartment and I watched a plane fly by and drop an egg onto the city which I could see from my vantage point of the fire escape. From the egg sprung a great serpent that immediately began to tear the city apart as though it was made of cardboard and devour it. I watched this happen not with terror but with dread as though I knew that this was going to happen someday. My friends DT and Mitchell show up in Mitch's car and I run to greet them hugging them and telling them that I love them and asking them to take me with them. It's obvious that they are fleeing the monster. They say they are fleeing to Canada. I tell them that we should go south. Across the country to Mexico and through there to South America. Then I woke up.

WTF?!? What the hell is that suppose to mean?

2008-02-18T22:55:00.000-05:00

Who would want a night with Vanilla Ice and why? I'm curious.

Look up

2007-12-31T03:41:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we forget there is a sky above us and more beyond that.

hmmm.....

2007-12-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

glumbert - Henry Kravis makes $51,369 per hour. You pay more taxes.

R.I.P. Pimp C

2007-12-05T21:31:00.000-05:00

My God. This is horrible. What can I say? This is the third Rest in Peace post I have made in the last month or so. Aw, man, this hurts my heart. It really does. UGK was finally getting the world wide recognition they deserved, then this. Rest in Peace Pimp C.

I already posted International Playa, so here is another UGK treat.

RIP Dr. Donda West

2007-11-18T09:16:00.000-05:00

I can't begin to imagine what Kanye is going through right now. It's obvious he just lost the most important peron in his life. I just hope he is surrounded by loved ones to get him through wht will probably be the most difficult period of his life. My prayers go out to you, Kanye.

So it worked?

2007-11-15T14:17:00.001-05:00

We're in the midst of one of the worst droughts in Georgia's history and our great govenor holds a prayer service on Tuesday to pray for rain. Many people scoffed, me included, but the very next night, afer weeks of dry weather, it rained. Good thing for Sonny (our govenor), I suppose...

2007-11-14T22:37:00.000-05:00

I was going through some of my past entries and saw this. How funny to see this two kids later. Well, maybe not so much funny as sad...

What's your addiction?

2007-11-06T19:49:00.001-05:00

"Is it money? Is it girls? Is it weed? I've been afflicted with not one, not two but all three."

Yea, I'm two years late. I know. I've been bumping Addiction from Kanye's Late Registration all day. I heard that song for the first time about a month ago and mistakenly thought it was on his new album. How surprised I was to find out the song was over two years old. Have I fallen that out of touch with contemporary hip hop? Perhaps I didn't give Kanye a fair chance by listening to his album...

Whatever the reason may be, Kanye finally got me. I'm officially a fan. Don't tell anyone.

2007-11-04T09:30:00.000-05:00

I want to paint so bad it hurts. Everytime I feel this way I think of a line in a song I like.

"You'll never understand the passion festering inside of me that winds around my dreams at night like a silver snake."

Yep, thats about right. Dosen't mention the pain of it, but it's still an apt description. So, how is life for you, my friends? Hopefully all is well and no one pissed you off. Me? I'm here. Thats all I can say for now. School and life in general is beating me into submission but other than that everything is great. I wish there was more to talk about, but there isn't, so I leave you with this...

Ah, the world amuses me.

Huh?

2007-10-30T23:05:00.001-04:00

Who the hell is Chelsea Rodgers and how the hell did she get Prince to sing a song about her?

Ms. Warwick

2007-10-25T03:32:00.000-04:00

Damn. How unfortunate it is to associate her with the psychic friends before that beautiful voice.

R.I.P. Lucky Dube

2007-10-22T12:19:00.000-04:00

I don't understand this world. I don't understand how this beautiful man could be murdered the way he was. Life is a beautiful and terrifying thing. I hate to say he will live on in his music but thats all I can say. The universe moves on and never stops to mourn. Maybe it would be easier if we did the same. With that said, lets not mourn and be angry at the injustice but remember what he left behind and the lives he has and will touch in the future. Rest in Peace.

Brilliant!

2007-10-17T23:04:00.000-04:00

Stephen Colbert +Presidency = Brilliant!

Of course its not going to happen. Could you imagine Stephen Colbert as president?

Daaamnn O.J.!

2007-09-25T11:27:00.000-04:00

O.J., what are we going to do with you? They've been trying to put you in jail for 13 years and you go and do this? Perhaps all the years ducking and dodging the accusations has addled your brain a bit? That is the only legitimate reason I can come up with to explain your recent behavior. You were actually going to publish a book called "If I did It". Are you insane? Are you that hard up for cash? Well, best of luck, my friend. Just remember Johnny can't bail you out this time.

You like how Simpsonized O.J. winks at you, don't you?

2007-09-25T11:20:00.000-04:00

"These young honey buns running around in nothing but press on nails."

Youngblood, an older on air personality said that about going to the "young folks" club on his show Saturday morning. Cracked me up for a good hour. Forgot to share that earlier.

Conversation of the week

2007-09-24T11:05:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I shared this yet, but I work in a little area called Little 5 Points in Atlanta. It's the bohemian/eclectic/hippie/preppy/hip/everything else you ever thought of area. Well, I see and hear a little bit of everything at my job. It being a head shop is probably why and this is the latest disturbing conversation I had.

Him: So, my girl is pregnant. That's cool I guess, but I don't want no white baby.
(This guy is a light skin black man. He is so pale I thought he was white with a weird tan when he came in)

Me: You don't want a white baby?"

Him: Well, she's white. How would I look bringing a white baby to the mosque? They'll
throw me out. So, I'm trying to convince her to...you know.

Me thinking to myself: You have got to be kidding me.

Him: I mean, she's a muslim too, but they never really accept white people there, you know? What they don't know is most of the world's population of Muslims is Asian.

Me: Thats interesting. But I have a question. Why are you with this girl in the first place if you don't want a white baby?

Him: Well, if it was up to me, I'd have a black girl, but black girls don't want me. I have to get what I can.

Me thinking to myself: And impregnate them then try to convince them to abort the baby because of their skin color.

Me: Right...

Him: Black girls just don't go for light skin brothers anymore, you know?

Me: No, I didn't know.

Him: I just get what I can and work with that...

Me: Well, you have fun with that...

2007-09-20T01:50:00.000-04:00

This optimism thing just might work out.

2007-09-19T00:44:00.000-04:00

I jut got my laptop back today. I sent it to the shop in April and I just recently worked up the money to get it out. Oh, how I missed it and already it is interfering with my school work. Not that I was really focused on my school work in the first place. Here I am in my last year of higher education and my drive is damn near empty. What the hell? I should be excited. I'm in the last stretch. I can see the finish line, yet all I can do is drag my way towards it.

I would be depressed about it but I've been feeling depressed for over a month now. Fuck depression. Time to wallow in a different emotion. How about optimism. I haven't been optimistic in a while...

Well, we'll see how that goes. In the meantime, since we are on the subject of feelings, a friend of mine showed me this interesting website. We Feel Fine. Hours of exploring other peoples emotions ahead of you if you feel like dipping into other people's private thoughts...although it isn't all that private since they published it online in the first place...

The pursuit of happiness...

2007-09-18T14:21:00.001-04:00

Have you ever taken the time to wonder what happiness is? What is true happines? It varies from person to person, of course, and I wondered today, while walking to school how many people out there are really happy and does those who are not know it. I know I'm not happy. I haven't really been happy for a while. I'm not trying to be depressing, that is just reality. I know one day I will find my niche, which is what is keeping me from being happy these days. Not knowing where I belong or where I am going. One day it'll come to me, so I'm not sweating it. I'm more worried about the people who dosen't know they aren't happy. Those who do their day to day activities completely miserable and not having a clue because they are stuck in that monotony that most of us falls in.

Do you know what makes you happy? A really simple question but you'd be surprised how many people have to sit and think about it when that question is posed to them.

Just something I''ve been thinking about. It wouldn't hurt for you to think about it too.

The Wireless Age

2007-09-16T10:15:00.000-04:00

Ah, the age of instant stars. Isn't it amazing how a particularly entertaining video can propel you into stardom? The Chocolate Rain guy was on Conan...or some late night talk show. Chris Crocker's tearful outburst on the injustices Britney is facing has been on the radio, numerous web articles and Jimmy Kimmel's show...actually it's not that hard to get on Kimmel's show. Soulja Boy loaded up his dance and set off a sensation across the country. I can't believe he has an instuctional DVD by the way. Speaking of Soulja Boy, I can't hate on his success anymore. It was somewhat genius how he did it...I can still hate on his being number 1. How is UGK's Players Anthem not number 1 right now?

We are not in the first stages of this new age, kiddies. It's been in the works for years. We are, however, seeing it begin it's flight into astronomical proportions. Television and radio is being replaced by the internet. It happens every fifty or so years. Radio was replaced by movies which was replaced by television which is being replaced by the internet. I learned that in my film class last semester. See, I am learning. I know what you're thinking. Everyone doesn't have a computer in their household. Oh, they will. Not everyone had a television set the first decade they were put on the market. Now, there is 2.1 sets per household in America. It is only a matter of time.

What does that mean, America? It means the internet will be the new tool for massive mind control...well, it already is but soon, YouTube will be flooded with advertisments, consumerism will creep into every online community once they figure out that is where most people spend their time. It has already started. MySpace and Buzznet are flooded with ads and giveaways. Marketing agencies are coming up with new ways to sell products to you without you even noticing.

It's a scary thing when you think about it. Oh yeah, and isn't a bit disturbing that they had a journal called The Wireless Age in 1919? That is a picture of one of the covers up top.

Just let it go...

2007-09-14T22:39:00.000-04:00

Letting go is one of the hardest things I ever have to do. I say it in the present tense because I am doing it now and I know I will have to do it again. I cling on to that which is comfortable not wanting to let go in fear of the unknown. Most times the unknown rips you away from everything you know and tosses you in a pit of darkness leaving you to grope around not knowing what to do or where to go. That was where I was for a month or so. I'm still kind of floating around, not really touching anything or anyone. Nothing seemed real to me, but of course, that feeling couldn't last forever. I'm slowly making my way back to reality and it's about time. Time waits for no one and I fell way behind on nearly everything.

However, there is still the matter of letting go of the past. When you say goodbye to a loved one, I find it helps to remember all the good times you shared with them and hold those memories close to your heart so that when you remember you will never be able to have those good times with them again you just conjure up those good memories to kind of dull the pain. Well, I didn't lose anyone to Death but I suffered quite a few losses just the same this past month. So here is my goodbye to them.

This is what I did in the house on Hillcrest.
Poker, Gears of War, Beat Battles, Random Shuffles, ESPN, Best Damn Sports Show Period, World Series of Poker, Ganja Smoking, Record Playing, Bug Killings, Tekken Tournaments, Chicken Rice and Broccoli, Dutch Masters Vaniila Cigarillos, Music Making, West Forrest Hustling, Arizona Teas, Oz Pizza, Slice Pizza, Madden '06 and '07, Final Fantasy, Dog Barking, Random Singing, Flav's Roast, Chevron Trips, East Point's Top Model, Man vs. Wild, Adult Swim, Futurama, Family Guy, Scrubs, Samurai Champloo, Gorillaz on repeat, "Was he really bumping Gwen Stefani?", Trump, Hot ass Summers, Cold ass Winters, The Studio, "Dipsy Doodle on that Ass!", Creeping Mold, Random Dry Erase Board Messages, "Welcome to our Humble Abode, bitches", bail bondings, break ins, The Perfect Girl Chip Shuffle Analogy, Chip Tricks, Cape Cod Potato Chips, Chair Stealing, Nike Collections, Records in 7 out of 9 Rooms, Constant Visitors, VJC visit, Short Lived T-Shirt Printing, Wireless Internet, Two House Parties, Negro Modello, DeeLow's Patron, JaFar's gallon of Vodka, Sun Drop, Cheerwine, We Played Spades Once, "Deauces!", Bottles of Aspirin, MySpace, The Futon Everyone's Slept on, "They only took the rent money?!", MPC's, XBox 360, PlayStation, Hair Twisting, Cranberry Juice, Peach Plum Pear Juice, "Did you eat your dinner?", 10 7 off suit, J 5 Suited, Push ups, The Beat Up Poker Table, DT's Beats, Mitchell's Comments, DeeLow's Presence, Will's Outbursts, Shawtie's Barking...wow, thats just skimming the surface...2 years of memories. And I cherish every one of them.

I miss you guys so much.

Are You Serious?

2007-09-08T10:53:00.000-04:00

Soulja Boy is Number 1 on the billboard charts, huh? How the hell did that happen. It's Number 1 in the country?! Ok, now, I am not trying to hate...well, I guess this is hating, but my goodness, the song SUCKS. How can Soulja Boy be on top when there is so many better songs, better artists, better everything out there? As much as I would love local Atlanta rappers take over the music scene in the country, I would much rather it be Atlanta rappers with talent.

Let me provide you with the lyrics
.
[Chorus: repeat 2X]
Soulja Boy off in this hoe
Watch me crank it
Watch me roll
Watch me crank dat Soulja Boy
Then super man dat hoe
Now watch me yuuuah
(Crank dat Soulja Boy)
Now watch me yuuuah
(Crank dat Soulja Boy)
Now watch me yuuuah
(Crank dat Soulja Boy)
Now watch me yuuuah
(Crank dat Soulja Boy)

[Verse 1]
Soulja Boy off in this hoe
Watch me lean and watch me rock
Super man dat hoe
Then watch me crank dat robocop
Super fresh, now watch me jock
jocking on them haterz mayn
When I do dat Soulja Boy
I lean to the left and crank dat thang
(now yuuuah)
I'm jocking on yo bitch ass
and if we get the fightin
Then I'm cocking on your bitch ass
you catch me at yo local party
yes I crank it everyday
haterz get mad cuz
"I Got Me Some Bathin Ape"

[Chorus 2X]

[Verse 2]
I'm bouncin on my toe
Watch me super soak dat hoe
I'ma pass it to arab
Then he gon pass it to the low (low)
haterz wanna be me
Soulja Boy, I'm the man
They be lookin at my neck
Sayin its the rubberband man (man)
Watch me do it (watch me do it)
dance (dance)
lets get to it (lets get to it)
Nope, you can't do it like me
hoe, so don't do it like me
Folk, I see you tryna do it like me
Man that shit was ugly

[Chorus 4X]

Yes, thats number 1 material right there.

Make it stop already

2007-09-04T17:42:00.001-04:00

Will someone stop this man? He has gained too much momentum as it is.

DAMN that man can dance!

2007-08-30T09:37:00.001-04:00

Let the Godfather teach you a thing or two.

Damn they don't dance like that anymore. And those creases can cut ya!

Oh, I miss you, James.

2007-08-29T22:26:00.000-04:00

Ok, I am now out of the gloom and feeling a little better. The clouds have parted, the rain has lifted, the sun is shining, everything is better. On to new things.

Today is the 2 year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Amazing. I had planned on adding my 2 cents on my thoughts on the "progress" that has been made over there, but Oliver Wang did much better than I could ever dream of doing right here . Political posts have never really been a strength of mine so I must leave it at that. Please forgive me.

It's been a weird week and it's only Wednesday. Can't survive a month like this again. But that is neither here nor there. I shall leave you with this, kiddies.

There is a certain artistic genius behind this song, I must admit. Maybe it's my southern blood talking, but they KILLED IT! Keep an eye out for the dancing choir, especially ol' boy with the mike.

Just a thought.

2007-08-28T18:21:00.000-04:00

Human emotion is a terrible thing. How the smallest things can rip through you like a thousand knives...it's horrible. I'm not a fan of change even though I change at an alarming rate. It's like starting from the ground up over and over. Figuring out who you are every few months. Piecing together your identity so often it's no wonder you rarely know who you are. It's a painful journey. But I am no stranger to pain. Pain has been a companion of mine for a long time, so this is no strange place for me. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

2007-08-21T09:36:00.000-04:00

I've read somewhere it was a cliche to post poetry on your blogs. I say, "Fuck that." No really, I said just that. The day one person can dictate how everyone should do something as insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) as blogging is the day I say "Well, maybe Hitler had a point." Not happening. I've been writing poetry again. I only do it when I am in deep turmoil and I am in the throes of it right now. It's OK. I never really mind suffering because I know it doesn't last forever. Suffering makes you see things you would never see if you were happy and carefree. I see things not more clearly (because pain can cloud your inner and outer vision) but more observantly. It has its good points and bad points...I'm just ready for this to be over. I have so much to worry about besides my crushed ego and a broken heart. Maybe I will post some poems...nah, probably not.

On to better things, I have heard the best, most unique album I have ever heard. A mix between hip hop, Edgar Allen Poe and something else I haven't discovered yet. The Nobody Hole is amazing and I can't wait until the world hears it. They will be blown away. SumKid Majere is a genius and I can't stop singing his praises. One day everyone else will see what I see and I will merely raise my eyebrows in a bemused sort of way with a look that says "About time."

When the world ends...

2007-08-15T18:02:00.001-04:00

The world is ending...not in 2012 but right now. The world is ending for me right now. I'm not going to mope around and cry and moan and bitch and shake my fists at the sky and kick puppies and write practice suicide notes or anything like that. I did that yesterday. Today is a new day as they say and I feel exactly as I felt yesterday except instead of getting all the emotion out, I am letting it build up until sooner or later I will explode and someone will die. There really is no alternative. When the world ends all you can do is sit and wait and hope when it's over you will be a stronger person. So, here is to getting stronger. Hopefully this future strength I am looking forward to will lead me to being a better person rather than a bitch.

Cheers.

J5 + MosDef = Oh, s#@!

2007-08-13T23:06:00.000-04:00

I was listening to records tonight. I haven't sat down and just listened to records in a very long time. I wasn't able to sit back and relax like I would have liked because I was flipping through songs looking for a song to sample. I've been dabbling in producing lately. I must have gone through dozens of albums, nothing really leaping out at me at all. I was starting to lose hope of finding anything when I happened across a Jackson 5 album. At first I thought that was too obvious, nearly everyone sampled the Jackson 5, but I wanted a slow and sad love song and most of the songs looked like love songs judging by their titles. The first three songs I hear are uptempo dance. I look at the date on the cover. 1974. Disco isn't dead yet. I was about to put it back in the sleeve and move on but I dropped the needle on a random spot and pressed play. The beginning of my favorite Mos Def song burst through my headphones. My heart felt like it stopped. I had to stop the record player because my heart felt like it was about to burst. The shock of hearing that sample then the song it came from made me cry. It was so beautiful. Michael had a beautiful voice. So young he was and to sing so mournfully sometimes was astounding and heartbreaking.

The song, If I don't Love You This Way by The Jackson 5 is beautiful and the way it coincides with Mos Def's U R the One made me love his song even more. He picked the perfect song to sample. Michael's voice. I burst into tears the second he hit that last note at the end. I felt the pain, the agony of lost love as poignantly as though it had actually happened to me. And the thrill of finding a sample to one of my favorite songs.It was almost too much. Like a needle pierced my heart and filled me with emotions I have no name for. I love it when that happens. It's so rare and amazing. Music is my religion. It hasn't made me speak in tongues yet. Thats good.

That's Mr. West to you, sir.

2007-07-25T14:43:00.000-04:00

I just happened to catch Kanye's new video and the artist name was indeed Mr. West. I am not in any way a fan of arrogance but I do admire his gall. Can I really hate on a man who sampled Daft Punk and made it a hit? Oh yea, Busta did the same thing...Well, I can, but this time I'm not going to do it. I must admit, though, and it hurts me to do so, I kind of like what I heard from his album so far. Of course, it may be due to the fact that the radio plays one of his new singles every 20 minutes (and I am not exaggerating). Well, done, Kanye, well done. I do admit to a slight fondness for your new album but I'll be damned if I call you Mr. West.

Carry on.

2007-06-26T12:00:00.000-04:00

Good thing I wasn't the only one outraged by it. I just found out the Doc Marten ads featuring dead rockers Sid Vicious, Joey Ramone, Joe Strummer and Kurt Cobain was pulled and will not be used to advertise their shoes (Of course, this is probably old news to those who stay on top of the news). If they had went through with it, I would have been shocked. I also found out it wasn't the company's executives who came up with that particularly brilliant idea, but Saatchi and Saatchi London, an ad company that probably lost its biggest account because of their lack of decency.

I also found out Courtney Love knew nothing about the use of Cobain's image in the ads until she was notified. You're off the hook for now, Love, but I am still watching you.

In other news, Paris is out and ABC and NBC are willing to pay top dollar to have at her first. Only in Hollywood can jailtime (or possible jail time for some) make you money. Which leads me to this question; how the HELL did R. Kelly manage to make more money now after the sex tape than he has ever made before? Usually, when you are accused of molesting children, that puts quite a damper on your career, especially when there is actual footage involved, but not Mr. Kelly. He actually turned around the negative publicity into big bucks. While I am disgusted by this I must admit I'm a little impressed. Perhaps Michael is taking notes.

Back in time.

2007-06-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

I was definitely born in the wrong era. I missed out on a great love affair with this man. How would I have achieved that? Well that I am not sure of, but I would have found out a way. What other musical treasures would this man have created if not for his most untimely death? I guess we shouldn't dwell on what could have been but what was. Here is to you Jimi.

Gasp!

2007-05-31T00:55:00.000-04:00

How dare they? Really? Is this what America has come to? Resurrecting dead rock icons to sell their products? Who is the executive at Doc Marten's who thought this would be a great idea? Who gave them permission to do this? Who has the rights to Kurt Cobains image??? Does Courtney Love really have the rights to Kurt Cobain's image or am I being a bit too hasty to pin it on her? This is nearly the exact reason he committed suicide in the first place and I am horrified to see it.

How dare they??

Thanks to Poplicks for bringing this to my attention.

Oh, that's right.

2007-05-31T00:39:00.001-04:00

I just spent two hours watching television tonight and I was reminded why I stopped watching television in the first place.

I watched Stephen Colbert personally put a dent in Barack Obama's presidential campaign by calling him a liar. He then went on to almost belittle his guest, former basketball player who just came out, John Amaechi. A little side note about him, I forgot his name and typed "basketball player" and "closet" in Google and a website related to him was number one.

I then watched an episode of South Park which speaks for itself.

Finished the night off with Mind of Mencia where I watched him have Three 6 Mafia rap offensively then do a fake robbery/beatdown on Mencia himself. Thats when I turned off the television.

Please turn off the television. Read a book. The newspaper. Go for a walk. Anything. Just don't let television rot your brain. We seriously do not realize how much what we watch affects us. Television is a very powerful tool and the people behind these networks know this and are using it most effectively. There is a psychology behind it. They know how to capture our attention and hold it for hours. Think of all the times you've turned on the televison and completely lost track of time.

Don't pretend that never happens.

Turn it off!

Blonde Redhead Pt. II

2007-05-20T13:55:00.000-04:00

Maybe I will start that music blog after all.

It is day three and I am still listening to Blonde Redhead's new album. I seriously have not listened to anything else since I heard it the first time Friday night. 23 is outstanding. I believe their last 6 albums have all been leading up to this one. Today I found out that I missed them perform on Conan O'Brien a few nights ago. Shockingly, YouTube doesn't have the footage uploaded by 15 different people yet. Who knows what can happen in a couple hours so I will keep checking.

If this album doesn't blow them into mainstream or at least an undercurrent of mainstream (not to be confused with underground) then nothing will. I'm thinking when you hear about Portishead or Radiohead, Blonde Redhead will be up there with them. :-) What a coincidence that all the band names have 'head' in them...Maybe all groups with head in them fit in the same genre? I will test that theory out soon.

Their most beautiful album to date, I think. Emotional without being emo, sincere without being overbearing. Everything is just right. Kazu's voice is stronger, more haunting and hypnotic. Amedeo's guitar is heartwrenching and almost bittersweet. Simone on drums is mesmerizing and I think I fell a little in love with him. Not to mention their expertise on synthesizers, keyboards and any other instrument that I couldn't quite catch.

I cannot compare it to anything I have ever heard before. One of the best albums I have heard in several years. I wish I could see them live again but it seems they are finishing the remainder of their tour in Europe...pity. There is always Lollapalooza in Chicago on August 3rd...

I found it!

2007-05-19T11:29:00.000-04:00

I finally found it. A new album for me to obssess over. I just heard Blonde Redhead's new release 23 for the first time the other night and I haven't listened to anything else since. Just the other day I told a friend of mine that I have been looking for that album. You know, the album that speaks to you. That album where every word is about you and your life. The very next day I found it.

I saw Blonde Redhead live a few weeks ago and they were amazing. Amazing. I hadn't heard but one track off the album at that point. Then I heard the first four tracks on the album and I stayed in the car for two hours listening to them over and over.

The fourth track, SW...I seriously believe is the most beautiful song I have ever heard in a very long time.

Oh my.

2007-05-02T12:40:00.000-04:00

Yes, its been quite some time since I last left a post for you lovely people.
Yes, I have not made one post about music even though I said a music blog was coming. The music blog is still not coming because I've changed my mind but I can share some musical gems with you every now and then. Here is the first.

Don't sleep on Mr. Wonder kiddies. That man had the devil in him.

2007-02-26T00:33:00.001-05:00

Hollywood is a dangerous place.

2007-02-23T22:00:00.000-05:00

You can go mad out there. How many stars have cracked underneath the pressure of being idolized? When I was a kid I use to dream about being a movie star. The fame, the beauty, the money...all of that seem to be the ultimate in being succesful. But what price do you have to pay to have it all? What part of yourself are you willing to sacrifice to achieve it?

How many meltdowns have we been witness to through the media? I have seen quite a few in my short life and there are many more to come, I'm sure. Ms. Spears is the latest.

I really don't care about Hollywood stars. Most of the ones I've met had their noses so far in the air it is amazing they can didn't run into things when walking around (I heard someone say that once). Despite that, I feel sorry for the poor girl.

Why? I have no idea. I just hope someone helps her. It looks like she is heading to a bad place.

One more thing.

2007-02-09T23:48:00.000-05:00

I was reading some of my past posts and I realized I use to be funny. What the hell happened? Have I reached my peak? Am I careening head first into my prime? Am I to go through a quarter life crisis rather than mid life?

Dear God. No.

I was almost going to end my post that way, but decided not to. No, that just would have been wrong.

So, heard the news lately? I really don't want to dedicate a post to Anna Nicole Smith but I feel as though I must. Instead of writing on how she affected me, I'll let you read how she affected Ms. McIntosh (Or should I say Mrs. Delicious? If you read her blog you'd understand). I really couldn't have said it better. I never watched her show but Bunny almost made me wish I had.

Besides that, there is nothing else I felt like sharing.

Carry on.

While I was gone...

2007-02-09T09:22:00.000-05:00

So I have decided to start a music blog. Yes. A music blog. Its still in the works, of course. That means I have done nothing to get it started except write this post. I figured, why would you care about what's not going on in my life (because I am not really doing anything constructive)? Why not instead give you my uneducated opinions on music I listen to, or recently found out about?

It will be exciting, believe me.

Until then, check out these music blogs I've been enjoying.
Soul-Sides by Oliver Wang
Beautiful Regalia by Hua Hsu

While I am here...
Welcome Back Cardboard Judas !! He is probably not back, but maybe now he will feel obligated to post to make me happy.

A New Year...Another Day

2007-01-05T02:23:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to the lot of you.

Its been nearly three months and the world is so much closer to the End. Oh yes, the end of days is upon us. Once I saw CNN cover the Miss America scandal for nearly an hour, I knew the Four Horsemen was around the corner.

Not to mention the execution of Hussein and the Godfather's last bow. Even Gerald Ford saw fit to make a hasty exit to the afterlife.

Yes, it was a very merry Christmas.

So what is your resolution? Why do we even need one? Just get off your lazy ass and fucking do it already. I've realized if you wait until January 1st to do all the things you should have already been doing, you are probably not going to do it. I am speaking from experience, of course. I don't even remember my resolution from last year, or any resolution I've ever made now that I think about it. Not everyone is the same. There are those few who complete their resolutions. Usually they are obsessive compulsive.

Sometimes I wish I had some type of obsessive compulsive disorder. It would add a little order to my life. If that isn't a contradiction...

Anyway, as I've been saying to all my friends, make this year your year. You don't need a New Years resolution. You just need the desire to do whatever it is you want to do. Easy to say, I know, but it isn't so hard to do once you try. For most things, anyway. Bullshit resolutions like becoming a millionaire in a year or achieving your dream of becoming a modern day Scarface may be a little harder to achieve.

Once again, I am speaking from experience.

Until next time I find the energy to post, kiddies...

And remember, make sure to not allow anyone to take photos of you doing something incredibly stupid. They always come back to haunt you. But then again, if you know someone with the last name Trump, you'll be just fine.

Why I love my cuz.

2006-10-19T23:15:00.000-04:00

We drove at a snails pace through traffic. Rain fell in fat droplets on the windshield as I squinted my eyes making out the blurry spots of brake lights in front of me. You silently watch the cars drift slowly by as the radio plays my favorite tracks from my iPod. I fleetingly wonder how you feel about the music I've picked when A Devil Came Down to Georgia by The Charlie Daniels Band comes on, fiddles and all. I wince slightly.

She's going to say something about this song. I know it, I think to myself.

You turn your head towards the radio and I brace myself for your look of scorn, an argument in their defence already on my tongue when you say, "I love this song" and turn it up.

No one else. Thats why I love you. Happy fuckin birthday!

Oh. Wow.

2006-10-19T22:48:00.000-04:00

Isn't it funny sometimes that it only takes one beautiful day where everything goes exactly the way you want it to and the birds sing and the sky is clear that you forget just how fucked up the world is? No? Maybe thats only the way I feel sometimes. When I have eye opening experiences like the one I did tonight, I feel like the most naive, idiot in the world.

Rascism is not dead.

You already knew that, right? I knew it too. But I only knew the rascism that was taught to me in history books and told in stories and played in movies. I never actually touched it myself. Or maybe I was so sheltered throughtout my life that i didn't notice when racism was slapping me in the face. I don't know, it sounds like a dumb theory.

The whole point of this rambling bit of enlightenment is I was shocked by this . I've never known rascim like this.

What the Fuck.

2006-09-01T19:45:00.000-04:00

I just saw Bob Dylan in an iPod commercial,

I can't even begin to express my disappointment.

I really can't.

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

2006-08-27T12:34:00.000-04:00

Yes. Hello. I'm very well, thank you.

So its August already, eh? Oh, its almost September. My, time flies when you have been an inch from a mental breakdown for two months. Yes, I am talking about myself. I should tell you every boring detail of the trials I've faced recently, but you will only laugh at me because they were never really trials to begin with. I know this now because I drove through the TRAP the other day, and I'm pretty well off compared to them. If you don't know what the TRAP is, thats good. If you do, at least you know everything isn't softball games and PTA meetings in Suburbia. I knew about it but actually seeing it was something else entirely.

But thats not what I wanted to talk about today.

I just wanted to let you know I did not get the tattoo. My tattoo artist had to cancel and I have not been able to get back with him. I'm glad I didn't because that supposed new chapter in my life that I thought I was fast approaching was really a false alarm. Very false.

But something good has come from the last few weeks. I'm back in school. Spending thousands of dollars on an education that I really don't think I need to get a slip of paper proving I spent thousands of dollars on said education to get a job in a field that will probably have nothing to do with the education I spent thousands of dollars on. Don't mind my sarcasm. I'm really happy to be back in.

Maybe in the next week, after classes of course, I'll have something witty to tell you. Probably not, but you never know.

Look, I'm alive!

2006-07-09T03:05:00.000-04:00

Supposedly I'm getting my first tattoo tommorow. There will be needles, ink, screams of pain, hours of fun...its going to be great. The fact that its free is just a bonus. Now, many has wondered why I, Ms. Anti-trendster, would do something as trendy as permenantly scarring my body for the sake of vanity. I merely laugh at their obvious wrong judgement call on my unpredictable personality while silently thinking to myself "This shit is going to be permenant."

Yes, its all true. But here is what you didn't know. This tattoo is more than just a move to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex (hardly anyone will see it unless I'm wearing a bikini and on those rare occasions I will admit to knowing I will look fly as HELL!). This is something I've been planning on for years to commemorate the time in my life where I make a big step in the positive direction, and I feel like right now, I am at the cusp of a life changing event. I picked out a paticular tattoo about 4 years ago and that tattoo is what I am getting tommorow. I've been working patiently (sometimes impatiently) to get to this juncture of my life. This tattoo will be there in 20, 30 years to remind me of this time that led me to where I will be at that time.

Its exciting, scary, wonderful. What I'm worried about the most is how I will feel when all of this will be in the past. When I reached that point and moved past it. Hopefully I will still have that drive that led me to where I am now and hopefully will lead me to an even better place.

Ooooh, I feel all tingly inside. Besides that the only thing else that happened since Memorial Day ( I never found a BBQ by the way, but I made up for that on the fourth) was the cyst I had removed from my lower back. Good times. I'm still recovering but at least I'm not groaning in pain everytime I sit down. That was a pain in the ass. Oh ho! I just made a really lame pun. So, on that note, I bid you kids adieu. Be good and remember, its only illegal if you get caught.

Happy Memorial Day

2006-05-29T15:26:00.000-04:00

The only thing going wrong for me today is the fact that I can't find one barbecue. Its Memorial Day, I live in the hood and not one invite. I'm a little pissed off about that. So instead of grubbing on some grilled chicken, I am sitting in the house watching The Best Week Ever on VH1 which in itself is upsetting. I am really starting to hate television. Its one big commercial. Nothing but the next new product being endorsed by scantily clad women with big tits. I'm not upset or anything. I know that big tits sell products, I just want to watch a show without an underlying layer of commercialism...which will never happen again. Even the history channel is letting me down. If I see one more Breaking the DaVinci code special, I'll probably do something that will not affect anything.

Anywho, have a great holiday/day off. And if you live in the metro Atlanta area and you know of a BBQ, please send a message...or something. I'm starving here.

Oh, hello.

2006-05-24T21:16:00.000-04:00

Hello kiddies.
Have you ever felt like you hit a brick wall in your life? I'm sure most people have. I feel like I have been in the same spot for so long I'm beginning to forget what its like to move forward. To progress. I don't mean to start this blog on a depressing note, so lets talk about something fun...like...geez, I can't even thin of anything fun. What has become of me?! I've been reading a lot of Hesse lately. Maybe thats it. Maybe not. The main point of this blog is to let you know that I am not dead. I'm just hibernating. I am a functioning hibernator. Well, that was just lame. I need to get out more.

It was bound to happen.

2006-05-08T15:22:00.000-04:00

Whether this is real or fake, when I saw this, I wasn't really surprised. I think stripping is the only thing they haven't made millions off of.

Why, hello there.

2006-04-25T12:24:00.001-04:00

Where is the time going? It seems like yesterday I was drunkenly singing the wrong words to Auld Lang in some hole in the wall club. Here it is damn near May. I'm leaving for California tommorow. My ill fated trip to Coachella begins in exactly 28 hours. Why is it ill fated you ask? Because I already know I will not be making it to the festival. Why go to California at all, you ask me? Why the hell wouldn't I want to go California? I've never really been except for that 2 hour trip from Reno we made to San Francisco, but that dosen't really count. My bank account has taken some heavy blows because of this trip, and my car, who has ran beautiful the last five years, decided to die on me yesterday. Is this a sign telling me not to go? Does it matter if it is? I'm still hopping that flight tommorow. Anywho, my next blog entry to you kiddies will be from Cali. Hopefully lots of pictures will be included. Toodles!

This has to be a joke.

2006-04-05T22:41:00.000-04:00

There is no way in the world any director would want to cast Paris Hilton as Mother Theresa. No way. Please say this a joke.

2006-03-28T11:48:00.002-05:00

Its finally Spring and it feels like the beginning of Winter over here. That is why I hate Georgia sometimes. Something is wrong when it could be 70 one week then 30 the next. I would protest, but that takes too much energy. I won that NCAA bracket, soo thats $100 I could definitely use. I also won a $50 gift card for getting a 100% review from a secret shopper last m9nth from my evening job. And I almost got the "hook up" (for those of you who dosen't speak Blackanese, that means a really good deal which originated from getting free cable "hooked up") for plane tickets to San Diego, but then I found out Air Tran dosen't fly to San Diego. Why? Beats me, but I was pissed when I found that one out. No problem, though. Looks like I will be making that drive after al, but the money I save on the tickets will be used for gas because I already know they have lost their mind over the gas prices over there.

Another bit of news is I found out MySpace is Trendster Nation. Everyone and their momma got a page. I really mean that. My mother is on MySpace. When you can become famous from an online community;

its time to be afraid. I'm stating to resent my own account, but that will be another battle fought at another time. I'm tired and I need to get ready for work yet again. Before I take my leave, notice that I have updated my sidebar over here. Theres a new artist, Jordan Smith and a new book, The Alchemist. I would have hyperlinked those names but I really didn't feel like it. Do your own work. With that being said, be good, children and remember, stupid people are everywhere. Watch your back.

March Madness Spreads.

2006-03-22T14:30:00.001-05:00

Yes, I did a NCAA bracket.

Yes, I'm winning. Maybe its because I have no idea what I was doing. Beginner's luck. Whatever it is, I picked Northwestern over Iowa and Montana over Nevada. And if I win, I get $100 which will be great to have when I go to Coachella next month.

Yes, I'm going to Coachella to see about 10 of the 60 bands thats going to be there. I've been telling myself its worth it for about two months now. I've also been planning every aspect of this trip myself and its the hardest thing I ever had to do. So far, the trip is looking like this;

We land in Los Angeles, pick up our rented car, drive 2 hours to our hotel in San Diego, then drive another two hours to the festival in Indio. Not looking too good. If I was a Travel Agent, I'd be broke. But I haven't given up hope yet. Miracles happen. If a #14 seed can beat a #3 seed, I can catch a break in Cali.

What else has been going? I don't know. My phone is off, my internet is down, and for some reason the t.v. stays on ESPN. Why don't you tell me whats going on. I feel like I live in a cave. A dark cave filled with Poker and The Best Damn Sports Show Period. Its depressing.

2006-03-12T04:01:00.000-05:00

I've decided to join an online poker site and lose money. It's a dumb decision but there is no turning back now.

My screen name shall be Fast_Lane_Jane.

2006-03-12T03:36:00.000-05:00

I saw on the news today the story about a man who sold his soul on eBay. Then I found out that isn't new.

If that isn't a sign of the end of the world, I don't know what is.

2006-03-01T17:35:00.001-05:00

Hello kiddies.

It's hard to keep up with everyone when you have three jobs. Yes, three. I've been working my ass off trying to save money for Coachella and school and bills that seem to double ever month. Right now, I'm out of the hole, so I've broke even. The debt is cleared, only $2000 to go.

Anywho. So much has happened the past month and I can't remember any of them to post about, so this is it for now, children.

For now, I leave you with this;

Be easy out there.

2006-02-08T21:25:00.000-05:00

They are Hayseed Dixie and they are a hillbilly tribute band to AC/DC. Whoever came up with that is either an idiot or a genius because that redneck version of Highway to Hell was surprising hot...or should I say hawt?